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$0.53Tour of the Battenkill Cat 5C 35+ 18 April 2015 WAA WAA WAA Let me get this out of the way right off the bat. It may have escaped notice, but I've got some OCD tendencies. Rule-following is part of the deal here. Three Battenkill rules from the race guide jumped off the page at me. 1. No crossing the yellow line (CHECK) 2. No sleeveless jerseys (CHECK) 3. No working with riders from other fields (CHECK) Turns out, a rider or two missed this last rule. On at least a dozen occasions, as I was slogging solo through the wind in the mile 55 to 64 segment, I was passed by an alphabet soup of a paceline. Namely, fields 5D, 5E, and 5F were thoroughly comingled and drafting off of one another. While the thought of hopping on the back was tempting, I stayed right and stayed slogging. If this sport had the etiquette and honor of golf (it doesn't; see: Lance Armstrong et.al.), I suspect that the number of DQs would easily be in double digits. As for field 5C, I only saw one rider in violation (C28, Jose H, riding with some D riders, but who's keeping track!?). I wasn't going to beat this guy regardless (he finished an "aided" 29th), but still, freakin' cheater. HEATH Friday night, Heath U is under the weather. Some bug or another. Saturday morning, no better. We roll out. At the left turn onto Meeting House at the 8.5 mile mark, I lose touch with the leaders. Well, as poorly as Heath was feeling, I figured I'd be reeling him in eventually. Or, he'd finish fifth. One of those two. OBAMA This one's got Heath's name all over it as well. Sorta. Friday night, I send out a picture of my beer at MacLaomainn's in Chester VT, noting that Max G and I were "awaiting Epoch [Eric P], Bama [Heath], and No Longer New Dave [Dave L]." Well, that's what I typed, anyway. My Android phone saw fit to auto-correct "Bama" to "Obama," which you have to admit is pretty priceless if you know anything about the Sudbury wing of the MacGregor party. I'm bummed it didn't auto-correct "Epoch" to "Hillary," though.  HEART RATE I'm pretty sure the highest heart rate of the weekend was recorded simultaneously by Heath, Eric, and Dave on Friday night. On the way to my sister's place in Londonderry, we missed the turn off of Route 11. So, I pulled into a driveway a few houses up on the right to turn around (the house was completely dark, and it was only a bit after 8p). Well, I made it back out to the road "unscathed," but the other two cars got an ear-full from the property owner, who made his way out onto his porch, perhaps armed. $0.53 Friday afternoon on my way from Cambridge to Newton to pick up Max, I realized that I still had my handlebar-end mirror on my bike. Knowing that the Velominati would frown particularly hard at this Rule 66 transgression, I wanted to pick up a bar end. So I stopped in at Cambridge Bicycle to get one. Cost me $0.53 (including tax). Perhaps my best bike shop excursion ever.  MISMATCHED Here's a photo of the group at the start, courtesy Andrew T's daughter. Pictured from left to right: Heath, Jeff, Dave, Max, Andrew, Eric (Conrad M, also 545, not pictured). No, we did not intentionally line up by height. 
WEATHER The weather was fantastic. Warmer than 2013, MUCH warmer than 2014 (when I didn't race). Temperatures were in the high 50s at the start and climbed well into the 60s over the course of the day. My original plan with that forecast in mind was shorts, long sleeve base layer, and jersey. As we were setting up in the parking lot, that plan quickly morphed to short sleeve base layer with arm warmers and then no base layer/no warmers. Shorts, jersey, and socks (plus sunscreen!) ended up being perfect combination. (By convention, I think that I was entitled to wear my number upside-down, but, OCD ...)   THIRD WHEEL At the 20 minute mark (which included the neutral start; course map here [PDF] and here [RideWithGPS]), I was feeling a bit rambunctious and decided to get toward the front. Before I knew it, I was sitting third wheel, and stayed there for at least a few minutes. Yes, the glory was fleeting, but it was glory (Strava name "Dumb Cane").  SPLINTERED At around the 15 mile mark after the rollers (and the aftermath of what I later heard was a pretty spectacular crash that took out two riders, one of whom--C18, Mark Eisenhandler of Team Danica--eventually crossed the line, albeit last of the finishers and 30 minutes after the next to last finisher), I tried to pull a pace line together. I got it up to 6 by the time we hit the left onto the Stage Road climb. Sadly, 3 of the riders probably qualified as Clydesdales, not because of their weight, but because of their height. They were great to draft behind, but 2 of us dropped them on the climb. (Note to other riders: if I drop you on a climb, you need to get better at climbing.) By the time I got to the top, I figured I could at least work with the other guy. Until I notice he was 5B and therefore not in my field (see "WAA WAA WAA" rant above). Also, he (B22, Ed Kruszon of Northfield VT, I think) was wearing running shorts and riding a late 70s or early 80s vintage Schwinn LeTour with toe clips and sneakers. We hung near each other for a while (he'd draft off of me, but I didn't draft off of him, of course). I think he stopped at the first feed station (approx. 28 mile mark), and I didn't see him again until he finished ... about 45 minutes after I did.   BASEtwelvePHOTO RECALCULATING I think that it was about the 1h 25m mark when the first three 5D riders came through. Then, nothing for a while, maybe until the 2h+ mark, when a large group of 5E riders came through. Where were the rest of the 5Ds? Crash? Later, I found out that the rest of the field had taken a wrong turn, adding either 3 or 6 miles. I don't know how it was possible to make a wrong turn--there were signs and volunteers at every turn, as far as I can remember.  John Bulmer Photography SOLO Starting at the covered bridge, I rode solo. Sure, I was getting passed a fair amount by other fields, but no one to ride with. I connected up with Jeffrey Boon (C4) at the 46 mile mark, but that only lasted until the second feed zone when he stopped and I headed up Joe Bean alone. I don't know who the hell Joe Bean was, but I don't like him much. The Joe Bean hill, followed by the Riddle Road hill, mark the last of the major climbing. The profile shows a loss of 600 ft between mile 55 and 64.
Well, it didn't feel like that much of a descent.
I don't know what the wind was blowing on that stretch, but it made the descents feel like flats and the flats feel like climbs.
Longest 9 miles of my life.
At the end of that stretch, though, a left turn and a left turn put us downwind most of the way to the finish.
The final climb was overrated (I'd been dreading it), and the spectators (who were awesome at numerous points along the course) made it easier.
There was no one in my (virtual) rear-view mirror.
I made the sharp right onto the final few 100 minutes, popped out of the saddle like
Bob Jenney's sprint class
actually taught me something.
For a time, I had the 9th fastest time on this segment, but that's probably because I uploaded to Strava relatively soon after the race.
  krausgrafik.com RACE RADIO In addition to Sandbagger Heath's great finish, others from the 545/MacGregor team turned in great performances: here and here. Conrad took 15th, Eric took 17th, Andrew took 25th, Dave took 26th (by the looks of Andrew's and Dave's finish times, they were probably holding hands), Max (honorary Mac for the day, yes, I told him the joke by way of initiation) took 38th, and I took 39th (3+ minutes behind Max). Sadly, Max and I both went solo for much of the last part of the race--if we'd had race radio, maybe he could have held up and then we could have worked together through the wind. Fortunately for me, by virtue of the 30s per year of age difference rule, I actually corrected over him. For the non-math savants out there, 39 of 52 is 75% of the way back (not as good as my 32 of 48 at Battenkill two years ago). Had I raced with my age-peers in 5F, it turns out that I would have finished exactly 75% of the way back, so I guess it was okay that I raced with the kids. FOOD FIGHT For much of the race, I stuck to my "food" plan--one Gu packet every 30 minutes. I was interspersing that with CarboRocket Half Evil (Lemonade), which maybe kinda sorta made me way too chemical-ly. (Half Evil is something of a meal in drink form.) I need to sort this out before Leadville--I'd love something more like robust (as in non-disintegrating) peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to go with the Half Evil. After the finish, the prospect of a post-race beer didn't sit too well with me (to be fair, the same thing happened after the 2011 Harpoon B2B, and no Gu or Half Evil were present for that one).  THE NUMBERS
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